I'm finding myself at 27, in a really difficult situation. I think this has brought to my attention, that I'm just ignoring what I actuall want out of my life. I'm going to start updating this page on my journey to the highest laegue I can get, really.

I played terran, and peaked at mid-high diamond in HotS. I broke down versus every masters player, and I focused too hard on the fact that I couldn't beat them. I actually gave them a good fight consistently, looking back. I know if I just stuck to it, I would have kept ranking up. So I got some bad taste from knowing I just let myself give up on this.

StarCraft 2 was one of those things I never had a strong friendship or community around. It was just me and the ladder. I played tournaments for money sometimes, on weird tiny amatuer websites. It's a nice funfact that I made like 10 or something dollars.

I have nothing else I can imagine spending the rest of my life on than playing video games. It sounds silly, but with my life where it's at, I'm fine with this. It feels really good to put all this up on my website.

With all that, I just got into silver 2. I was placed in bronze 1, and am sitting with a 6-2 win streak. I'm reinventing myself, and remembering how to play this game. I feel my 16 year old hands in that 200 apm mentality again. My inner child shines today, even if the outer adult is not well.

I will format all of this and adjust it at some point, etc.

8/3/2024 12:26PM EST

Gold league obtained. During my earlier days, I mostly played bio terran. Playing pure bio was this weird decision I wanted to make, cause the korean terrans could do outrageous stuff with just marines. I wanted to be like them. I slowly started refining a playstyle that utilized a lot of marine/marauder/medivac, with widow mines and cloaked banshees. I would do like, widow mine drops, cloaked banshee harass, and marine drops. Either all together, or alternating. Sometimes I skipped the banshees, but especially in TvT, I couldn't make pure bio work. I tended to add a lot of ghosts and marauders into my TvP, and versus zerg I would replace marauders with hellbats. If they went roaches, I wouldn't really change much. Masters zergs destroyed my playstyle effortlessly, because they would just tech to ultras in my face. Masters protoss players couldn't handle my aggression very well, but were too consistent for me. Masters terrans were either totally terrifying, or my one matchup I felt I might be able to do. Diamond players felt very different. Diamond zergs were effortless for me, diamond terrans would only beat me if they went mech, diamond protoss players were my weak point still..........I wasn't good against anybody if it went late game.

Recently, I play a lot of mech instead. The game I just played to get into gold included my first in fight medivac drop. I was running out of vespene late game, so I did a temporary switch to marines/medivac. I had to do an on the spot marine drop onto a highground tank. I felt so....old. Nonetheless, I did good enough. TvT was always just a game of good enough trades, it never felt productive til I won. Remembering the old stuff made me smile. I still can micro too, even if approaching 30 is making me prefer taking it easier.